December 1, 2010

  • Snow

    It's December 1st, and right on cue the first snow of the year happened here today.

    That would all be well and good normally, but I honestly feel like I've missed something. I feel like I sleep walked through the month of November. I kept saying this to myself over and over this week, after realizing that November would soon be gone and I felt like I had nothing to show for it. I really don't remember much of the month, and it's because I've been re-learning how to be a newly single, responsible human being. I know I'm being a little dramatic. Breaking up with someone is nothing like losing a loved one to death, or divorce. I should be (and I am, relatively) fine. But it's the repetition of events in my life that are occasionally upsetting. And the realization that I am (still!) entirely too dependent on everyone but myself. Let me clarify. I am self sufficient. I fix my own things, buy my own things, and have lived alone for quite some time. I can drive long distances alone, travel alone (though the way I appoach all this and the way I feel about it is changing, but more on that later). I'm not necessarily a princess in distress. But oh, the tears I cried last month during my newly single hours. Emotionally, I'm, in fact, a little tiny princess in a pink fluffy dress hoping for someone to carry her, or at least hold her hand because she just broke a heel and there's mud and it's cold and she doesn't want to do it alone.

    It doesn't seem right that December is here all bright and shiny with snow and Christmas-y bells and lights yet. It doesn't. The little princess in me is stamping her well heeled foot in petulance.