November 12, 2008
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I am a Rock Star Today
I'm so much better at life when I'm ad-libbing and making crap up. That goes for pretty much every aspect of my life, including teaching and social interaction. I suppose there's something to be said for my natural charm
. Seriously though, I'm finding that when I plan for certain things they don't quite go as expected, but when I saunter into a room with nothing more than a smile on my face and a vague idea of what I hope to accomplish I walk away feeling like a rock star. I should buy and electric guitar. I don't know why. Isn't that what rock stars do?On an entirely unrelated note (because that's what ad-libbing is about) I was having a conversation the other day with someone about platonic male/female frienships and how I think they're impossible. Well, perhaps I should say improbable. I've never been able to maintain a purely platonic relationship with someone of the opposite sex, and let me pause here for a minute to provide you with a dictionary definition of the word (in true undergraduate research paper form):
Pla·ton·ic
Pronunciation Key
adj.- Of, relating to, or characteristic of Plato or his philosophy: Platonic dialogues; Platonic ontology.
- often platonic Transcending physical desire and tending toward the purely spiritual or ideal: platonic love.
- often platonic Speculative or theoretical.
Pay particular attention to the second definition, the one about transcending physical desire. Yeah. That's where many so-called platonic relationships fail my friends. I know some of you are thinking that you may have a friend of the opposite sex that you'd never think of in any way other than clothed and sex-less. You may be right. But that doesn't mean they haven't been imaginging you in various states of undress for some time. I'm not saying it's a continual thing, or even a logical thing. I'm just saying.
Consider this scenario. You're both sitting around one evening (or on the phone) and one or both of you has had just a little too much desert wine. You've been friends for years. Saw each other throw up, cried on each other's shoulders about the latest break up. Suddenly your friend says something like "You know I've always thought you were beautiful/handsome. I don't know why someone would leave you." You smile because its a wonderful compliment, but something is slightly amiss. The truth of the matter is that some times our friends harbor secret loves (a la Joey Potter for that loser Dawson), or even just secret desires. It doesn't mean you aren't friends. Far from it. It might actually mean you're better friends (after having messed around, which sometimes enables you to share more with that person than you may have been comfortable doing before you copped a feel).
In all seriousness, friendships are such weird, amazing, confusing things. I've become friends with people I never expected to, shared things I didn't even realize I thought about, and have them mean more to me than I thought they would. At the same time, I'm realizing that the people we think we'll be friends with forever sometimes don't quite live up to that expectation, for whatever reason. Appreciate what you have when you have it. People come into our lives for specific reasons, and they leave them for equally important reasons.
Even the ones who want to see you naked.
Comments (8)
i was thinking just the same thing today...about how platonic friendships between heterosexual men and women are almost impossible!!
'even the ones who want to see you naked' hahahaI agree with you on platonic relationships.I have never had a close mail friend who hasn't at some point tried to be more than just friends.
I always thought that if one plans thing out to the tee they're prone to one minor thing messing everything up like when a machine goes crazy saying "does not compute." over and over before blowing upIs it safe to say you're saying that the idea of intergender platonic relationships (def 2) is simply platonic (def 3)?
Thats an interesting take on it.
How did I miss this last week?This subject hits close to home with me. When my girl and I met I told her right off that I have my share of female friends. Three in particular I have been friends with for ten plus years. I consider them to be almost like my sisters. It was hard for her at first, but I think she has grown more and more comfortable with it. She has remarked that she sees the way one of them looks at me sometimes, and "that ain't no friend look," but I always tell her to just trust me and not to worry about how they look. It's tough I know. She trusts me though.
@vanedave - Cus you probably have a life that doesn't involve sitting behind a computer all day, no matter how awesome my posts are ;-PShe's definitely a good woman, because I know how tough that must be. And trust me, in the right situation (re: lots of alcohol) that friend would probably assist you in removing your clothing before she manhandled you. But like I said, that doesn't mean you guys aren't truly close friends. In fact, one of my closest male friends broke down platonic relationships and mentioned that "One proceeds from recognition of another's beauty, to appreciation of Beauty as it exists apart from any individual, to consideration of the source of Beauty, to love of Divinity. However, in each one of these stages, physical contact is not only present, but necessary for moving to the next stage." I had to quote him becuase I couldn't say it anywhere near as great as he did. He's in law school so he's a smarty.Besides, who wouldn't give you the "that ain't no friend look"?
@STAYMATIC - LOL..yes it definitely is safe to say that.
@TessieLuv - was that a compliment at the end there? Are you trying to make me blush, cause if so you succeeded.
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