November 3, 2008

  • It's November

    I remember October like it was yesterday. Well, I guess technically it was October about three days ago. The days are doing weird things, blurring and melting away. I would say that it seems like time has been flying only recently, but I suspect time has been doing its thing for quite some time now whether I pay attention to it or not. It's only manifesting itself in ways that are noticeable to me...when I pay attention. Otherwise, weird things happen like groups of trees that used to be green one day are all yellows and reds and golds the next day. Just like that. No lie. Time I tell you. Sneaky.

    I enjoyed October. It started out rough, as things do, and I'm pretty sure there were other rough days in there, but that is the way living happens. With a variety of days and moods and happenings. They're not all going to be pretty. But they exist. And I go to bed at night every night despite the quality of my day thanking God that I simply exist, that I even have a voice with which to whine incessantly. And fingers with which to share my incessant whining with you. I'm sure you're all excited about that.

    The oddest thing, I think, about turning 25 is that I'm paying more attention to the things I seem to be thinking a lot more about these days. Honestly I don't know if there's some kind of switch that gets flipped on the minute mid 20's hit, one that is labeled "Care a lot about things like working and having a lucrative career and love and a life partner and having babies, lots of cute babies", but I think somehow this sickness has fallen on me. And it makes me kind of nervous, because I need the switch to chill just a little bit. For like...a few years.

    And yet I can't help occasionally wondering about marriage, even though it completely terrifies me. And I can't help smiling about the thought of children, future sons and daughters. I can't help but think about life. But I'm living life.

    Life is, essentially, a sum of all its parts. I'm pretty ok with this part. And very soon other parts will come.

Comments (6)

  • It's natural for a girl to think about marriage at a certain point in their life while  being single. Thoughts of being a mother too, because that's the very essence of being a woman. Wishing you the best of luck in looking for the right guy, that really special guy!

  • yes 25 is a bitch psychologically. i started to think about the same things. It was like a nagging little thing in the back of my mind. Now I just turned 26 and that nagging feeling has turned into a slow panic. I can't wait to see what 27 brings.

  • As a venerable matriarch of almost 29, I can assure you and cousin Dave that it comes when it comes... "man makes plans that God may laugh", but He's dumped everything I could ask for right in my lap as He laughed. I hope He does the same for you.

  • I imagine you now walking down a sidewalk, outwardly calm and beautiful, inwardly scanning the crowds for a...."cute baby maker".  If he's a maker of cute babies, or a baby maker who happens to be cute, either way, I hope you find him.  The thought of you hunting through unwitting crowds (though I know you aren't) makes me chuckle. 

    And yes, we are 25.  Old fogies. 

    For your comment on my whining about life - she may be going through a rough patch of it, but if so, she hides it exceedingly well, and I do like to think myself a pretty astute observer.  But then again, I'm angry and whiney and confused, and that leads to major lack of clarity on the subject.

    ~J

    ps.  You should have no problem finding your husband, who no doubt will thoroughly enjoy aiding you in your baby-making quest. 

  • @icapillas - Thank you! And thanks for stopping by my site :)

    @vanedave - LOL...slow panic. Now I have something to look forward too.

    P.S. Do you like this layout better? I sensed some ambivalence about the last one.

    @MlleRobillard - LOL..venerable matriarch my behind. You're a hottie who doesn't look any older than 22. Be that as it may, you are wise :) I know I'll get what's coming to me (hopefully good things) in due time.

    @Jmab167 - :) You've found me out. I refuse to even speak to anyone who will not provide me with cute offspring. I'm sure you are a very astute observer. Either way, you deserve to whine a bit, and maybe she deserves to so..whatever it is she's doing. You seem to be able to handle it all very well though. Do share that ability.

    P.S. Thank you. I have my doubts, but I suppose time will tell.

  • @TessieLuv - yes much better. Very nice for fall.

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